Reply to ILs who drive me nuts want to come post baby

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Something to consider:  [b]my wise mom (of six) always told me that she'd prefer to visit for hands on help weeks after the baby is born when she was really needed.  She believed and encouraged me to have as few visitors as possible, rest when the baby sleeps, just kind of bond/wing it together as a family.  That's busy and stressful enough, without also having guests at your house.[/b]

Maybe compromise and have ILs visit to see the newborn, nothing else.  Maybe ask them to take older sibling out so you and DH can have some time.  Give them specifics.

Then, have DH explain that they can come for a longer visit later.  Decide when later is and where ILs can stay.  Again, specifics.
[/quote]

+1000

My wise mother encouraged me to do the same.  We didn't have any overnight guests for the first two weeks while DH was on paternity leave.  When he went back to work my parents came for a week then in ILs cycled through.  Those first two weeks were amazing.  DH had plenty of space to bond and learn the basics without being micromanaged by a well meaning MIL. [i]He[/i] helped me when I needed help.  We really became a family of three during that time.

When he went back to work I welcomed the company and the help as it was offered.  MY ILs, well meaning but a little clueless were initially hurt that we asked them to wait.  But by the time they came breastfeeding was going well, I was feeling really good and was happy to see them. They did lots of cuddling while I had a good long nap every day. We ordered a lot of pizza that week.  In the long run the short delay did NOT get in the way of anyone bonding with their granddaughter/niece.  Eight years on younger members of DH's family have followed our lead. [/quote]

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