Reply to ILs who drive me nuts want to come post baby

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[quote=Anonymous]OP don't let anyone guilt you into something that isn't workable for you.  It sounds like you know yourself and you're clear on what you need.  Having a baby is a wonderful but VERY draining and stressful time so it's perfectly fine to give yourself a little extra space and protection from things or people that make you feel frazzled.  To the PP's who say "but think of the grandparents," my response is that any good and kind parent will understand their child saying that they need some time to bond with the baby.  It's not a rejection of the in laws, just an acknowledgement that everyone's idea of a good birth is different and that should be respected.  I say this as someone with 3 kids who took the "but they deserve to be there" approach the first time and felt very resentful when it caused a ton of extra work and stress for me, the family just wanted a photo op and I was absolutely exhausted running around cleaning up, entertaining and trying to care for a newborn 24/7.  Second time around we created a bit more space for ourselves as a nuclear family and the third time even more.  The third was by far the most peaceful and smooth transition because we didn't have all the chaos and drama that some family members bring (even well meaning ones).  Now that baby #3 is 3 months, my IL's just came for a visit made a huge mess of the house, complained about everything and you know what, it was fine and totally tolerable because I'm more rested, not so hormonal and able to just shrug it off.  We all had a nice time and they could enjoy the baby because she's more alert and smiling now so much more interactive.  Set yourself up for success and decide what is honestly possible for you then go with that.  Good luck and enjoy the baby![/quote]

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