Reply to Anyone grow up with a sibling that was the "favorite"?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Anyone grow up with a sibling that was the "favorite"?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How old are their kids? And how is she favoring the older one? Are you sure it's true favoring rather than being in awe of everything the first one does bc he/she does it first? I know that was the case in my family as I was second -- everything I did mattered less from walking/talking to high school graduation to getting into college -- bc they had just seen my sister do it 3 yrs prior so they had it all figured out.[/quote]

4 and 1.5. She very much wanted a girl and got another boy. She was disappointed from the gender reveal ultrasound.

I witnessed her slap her 1.5's hand away when he tried to get in on a hug she was giving to 4.

She makes big special parties for 4 and didn't even have a party for 1.5's first. The grandparents threw a BBQ.

4 brings her a flower and she puts it in her hair. 1.5 does the same and she criticized that it was a weed with bugs on it.

1.5 never has anything special said about him. 4 is AMAZING and WONDEFUL and so advanced for being such a SPIRITED child.

4 has [i]big beautiful blue eyes[/i], 1.5 has[i] boring brown eyes[/i]

Stuff like that.
[/quote]

Oh wow -- I'm the PP whose questions you're answering. I definitely felt 2nd fiddle in the milestone moments bc they just didn't mean much to the family and I can see how I wouldn't have gotten as many birthday parties (though definitely a first birthday even though I imagine it was less of a big deal), BUT I didn't feel/see the stuff that you're mentioning day to day in terms of being turned away for a hug or being told I had boring eyes or didn't pick good flowers or whatever.

Can you say anything to her or is it going to cause WW3? If not, why not dote on the little one when you're around him? How often do you see them? Pick him up, carry him around, give him hugs etc. Right now he probably doesn't get it but in another 1-2 yrs, he will and while it may not take away the hurt of being rejected by his mom, it'll be nice for him to feel that SOME adult cares about him and has a special relationship just with him.[/quote]

Thank you for the advice I really appreciate it.

We see them 2-3 times a month-ish and spend major holidays together. She is no longer speaking to her own sibling who pointed out the obvious so I doubt having the wife of her husband's cousin say something will go much better. As for this father he is a workaholic so I don't think it is as blatant to him. Not an excuse though.

I do have a soft spot for the little guy and I do pay a great deal of attention to him.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics