Reply to ILs who drive me nuts want to come post baby

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[quote=Anonymous]When you have a baby your plate is full with infant care, self care and recovery, supporting the older sibling in bonding and feeling included, getting the hang of managing this new situation with your spouse, and when possible, keeping connected with your spouse.

Anyone who can and is willing to help you with any of these four imperatives could be a welcome house guest.

Anyone who knows how to be around you without interfering with these non-negotiable goals should be a welcome visitor, at least for a few hours at a time.

You don't have to cater to people who make your life tougher. With a new baby to care for, you don't need to be cleaning up after slobs or dealing with the emotional stress or resentment of people treating you poorly.

If your in laws make more work when they stay, then your husband should tell them they can stay in a hotel and come for a few hours per day, then make sure they don't make your life harder while they are there.

With all due respect to the mother of the 8-year-old who is already planning to complain if your future daughter in law doesn't cater to you when she has a baby, now is a great time to rethink whether you want to be so selfish. Someday your children might marry and have kids. Their priority will be to look after their kids and be there for their spouses. Don't make them fight over you because you feel entitled to impose. [/quote]

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