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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Eh. Partially. She's very street smart and modest so although I check in I'm not worried. I did freak the other day when her friend sent her a link to the 21 best cocks or something but it was chickens. [/quote]

That is hilarious. That sounds like something my daughter would do, who is also street smart and modest. 
[b]
I check my daughter's text messages from time to time. It's usually pretty boring stuff. [/b]She usually makes good decisions, and she has seen the fallout from kids circulating naked pictures of other girls in her school. I send her links to articles about kids getting blackmailed with nude pics. I have to have faith in her choices because monitoring apps aren't really that useful. [/quote]

Do you read the ones just on her phone or also the deleted ones from your cell phone carrier? Kids delete the text they don't want parents to see

Do you read her Instagram and also her Finstagram too?  Most kids do a good family/college friendly social media accounts and then make up others to air our their dirty laundry

Do you allow Snapchat? You have no idea what goes on in that.

Do you you disable her ability to delete her web searches?  If not, you have no idea what she is doing and searching online.

Do you disable her ability to delete apps she uploads - needing a code from you to delete?  If not she can delete her apps every night and re-up them each morning.

Do you know about all the apps that make the apps she doesn't want you to see disappear on her phone?  If not she can hide any apps she doesn't want you to know your using.  
[/quote]

Yep.  It's complicated. Seems easier to build a relationship of trust.[/quote]

The first mistake of parenting a teen is trusting that teen from a relationship of trust.  [/quote]

And NOT because the kid isn't "trustworthy".  It's because kids get sucked into things, find themselves doing things, discover unhealthy things can be very, very interesting...and they simply have no idea how to be open about these things.  It seems scary and out of control to them, yet also completely absorbing.  So even when there is a fantastic relationship, they hide these things from their parents, because they truly do not know how else to deal with it.  And then every parent goes from "my kids would NEVER do or look at that" to the utter shock of "I can't believe my kid did THAT!"  So much better to stop it from happening in the first place.

And I agree with the PP who mentioned not allowing kids to leave the house alone, yet full access to the internet is somehow reasonable and practically the kids birthright.  Yet the internet is absolutely bursting at the seams with inappropriate content - even things that we as adults don't hardy notice - bad language, indecent ads, violence, etc etc.  I guess if you let your kids have full access to cable TV then they've probably already been exposed to a lot of it anyway.[/quote]

Yep. Trust but verify.

I also urge parents to separate these issues from concerns about school. Obviously, if your kid is spending so much time on social media, etc, that schoolwork is suffering, you need to lay down the law. But please don't make the mistake of thinking that kids who are good students can't be stupid on the internet.[/quote]

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