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Reply to "How do we feel about apologies?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here- this is early elementary. And in case I wasn't clear- all of these kids have special needs and all are verbal.

So yes it is different I think for biting in preschool- where I think almost everyone bites and is bitten at some point.  But I love the cool bandaid idea- that would have healed all wounds for my kids :-)

For middle or high school- I can't imagine that yet.  The potential for more harm is definitely there, but I hope to be less involved by that point.
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Every child is different- I have noticed that my DS is less remorseful if I force an apology. I want to give him the opportunity to come to terms with His actions in his own time-- otherwise, it's just for show. I've found that when DS apologizes of his own free will, he's more articulate and more likely to make amends when he can. 
I think other people can tell a genuine apology from a forced apology- the forced apology just makes things weird and uncomfortable.
None of this is to say that we don't talk about the importance of saying "sorry" or that it's only about DS's feelings-  I think he has a better shot at learning to treat others more kindly if I trust him to reflect and apologize without coercion. 
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