Reply to Separation/divorce and mother's day

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My divorce has been on the works for years (literally, long story).. and we will likely be moving to our separate houses on June/July, but no matter how difficult things were, we always celebrated our birthdays together, as well as major holidays, including Mother's Day and Father's Day.
Today DH (or XH) told me I should make my own plans. For other separated/divorced moms/dads out there... do you spend mother and father's day together? I know DD wants to get my a present like she does every year with dad (I guess that's how the conversation surfaced today) and I don't know how to help. She looked heartbroken today.
I am sure I can come up with a plan (no family in the area) but curious about what others do.[/quote]

It sounds like there are two different things going on here.

1 - you two have spent the holiday together in year's past but will not this year
2 - your ex has helped your daughter buy a present for you in the past but...isn't this year?

I can't tell what exactly it is that's upsetting your daughter here.  Your ex told you to make your own plans...for what?  How to spend the day?  Or getting your daughter to get you a gift?

If it's how to spend the day, then I think that's normal.  My husband has never spent a holiday with his ex.

But if it was b/c he said he wasn't going to help her buy a gift (which isn't clear from your post), then I'd suggest talking to him and letting him know that it's important to your daughter that he help her buy a gift.  If that doesn't work, go  with the other suggestions where you forego gifts altogether unless they're homemade and start a new tradition of just spending the day together.[/quote]

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