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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't like my son's teacher either - she picks on my kid. He has ADHD and she seems to find him overwhelming and unlikeable. 
I know it sounds like my DS is a pain- and he can be- but [b]he gets in trouble for behaviors that are ignored in other kids.[/b] My son was distracted and not working well one day- they sent him to the office and I got called. Yet [b]kids who have engaged in much worse behavior (saying mean things, harassing behaviors, and one case of egregious bullying) are not sent to the office. [/b]
I just hijacked this thread- sorry. I needed to get it off my chest. Deep breath, the year is almost over...[/quote]

OP, how do you know that other kids have done the same things your son is doing?  Have you spent multiple, entire days within the classroom?  I'll bet you are going by what your son tells you.

Could it be possible that your son is frequently behaving in ways that distract other students and prevent them from learning, or that prevent the teacher from giving other students the attention and care they deserve as well?  How do you know that any of those students have special needs that require some special attention from the teacher (which she might be prevented from giving if your son is repeatedly acting out when she's not able to focus on him)?  Just because you think your son has an excuse or condition causing his misbehavior does not mean that the teacher is wrong for sending him out of the room when he becomes uncontrollable/distracting.  How arrogant of you. [/quote]

PP here- not arguing, but you're making a lot of assumptions about my son's behaviors. He's occasionally distracting and distracted- he is not uncontrollable and he does not repeatedly act out. He would be expelled for that kind of behavior. 
 He also does not bully, say mean things, exclude other children or otherwise engage in unkind behavior. All of these things have been done to him with less result to the other child than if my son doesn't finish a page of math. I am not arrogant, and I am not a demanding parent who believes the world must bend for her child. I could not be that kind of person and remain on good terms at a private school. I'm sorry if we don't fit your profile of a SN child with intolerable behaviors and an overbearing, helicopter parent. 
My kid never seems to get the benefit of the doubt and sometimes I vent because I'm fed up.

[/quote]

I hear you! My DS spent about three to four years building his self-esteem back up after a kindergarten teacher spent the entire year sending him out of the classroom or to a ridiculous thing called the "red line," every time he did something she didn't like. How do I know he was singled out? Because we had him evaluated, which included a two-day observation by a psychologist (whom my DS had not yet met--nobody in the room knew who she was). She was very clear that not only was his behavior not inappropriate for a kindergarten classroom but that he acted and performed better than most of his peers. There are just certain behaviors and personalities that rub certain people the wrong way, and teachers are not exempt from just simply not liking someone. If I had to do it over again, I would have advocated for my son much more strongly. But we were still in awe of the "elite" school we were in and didn't want to make waves. But you're right, the year is almost over. Just hope he gets out of there with his self-esteem in tact and starts the next year off with a teacher who appreciates him for who he is (most of them will)![/quote]

PP here- I appreciate that. I think that you are right- some people are more bit more bothered by certain behaviors. My son has low level chronic needs that can wear on people after awhile (believe me I get it and do sympathize with teachers in spite of my vent). He needs teachers who are organized and flexible- basically at the top of their game, because with him, prevention is key. Otherwise, we're in a situation like now where his teacher punishes for what is most irritating but not the most serious in terms of behavior issues. Something is wrong when my son goes to the office for not finishing his math and a kid who shoved him (on the stairs!) because according to the teacher "he was walking too slowly" stays in class.

His teacher right now is (from what I see) disorganized and easily flustered- it's not a good match for my son. I don't think she's a terrible person or even a bad teacher- I think it's a total mismatch. [/quote]

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