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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Also wanted to add that another consideration is that I have an own egg daughter already.  If I do DE and have another girl I feel like that would be a challenging dynamic--would the DE daughter say that I'm not her real mom and feel negatively toward OE daughter? I feel like the dynamic would be much easier if DE baby was the other gender, though there's a 50% chance it would be a girl.  I feel like being adopted would be easier for a child to digest than coming from DE.  I wouldn't be so hesitant about DE if I didn't already have an own egg child, but my daughter looks exactly like me and the DE daughter wouldn't.[/quote]

OP, I feel similarly.  I am faced with secondary infertility and I also feel weird about the prospect of having one child with my egg and one without.  I had not thought about whether that difference lessens if the second kid if a different sex than the first.  I think I am a person who tends to feel guilty and am overly-sensitive, and I would feel bad about possible inequalities (would my genes be better or worse than a donors?)  What is my kid suffers with obesity and the donor kid doesn't?  What if the donor kid gets childhood diabetes and mine doesn't?  I think I would always unreasonably blame myself for having given my two kids different baselines, which I know is out of my control.  
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