Reply to Would you choose your career over love?

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[quote=Anonymous]I know that I wasn't offered a job out of town by my mentor because I was in a serious live-in relationship.  Mentor instead offered me a similar job in DC.  Mentor was influenced by the fact that mentor's husband had cheated on her and left her, in part because career-wise she had become more influential than him.  Mentor didn't want to offer me something that would lead to a split between me and my fiancé.  What mentor didn't know at the time was that the fiancé was emotionally abusive and had gone so far as to threaten to beat the crap out of me.  It would have been the best thing for me to have to move out of town for a job.  So, that's one time love was chosen for me over career.

I also made choices with a subsequent fiancé to chose love over career.  I deeply regret it.

I would advise my daughter (and son) that someone who asks you to choose relationship over career doesn't really love who you are; they love who they want you to be.  Someone who loves you will find ways to make your relationship and your career work.  I did this for my fiancé who travelled for work, sometimes up to 6 weeks at a time.

Sadly, when I look back at my life, I see that most men I was involved with felt free to criticize my career choices and ask me to make different ones because they "loved" me and for the "sake of our relationship".  I wish I had been mature enough to understand that their criticism was their problem and not a problem it was incumbent on me to solve by changing my life.  [/quote]

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