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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - I think the thing that kills me is that there is just a lot of sitting around and waiting for them. They don't articulate what they are thinking, and so they "play it by ear" but that leaves the rest of us waiting until they are ready. Today, we talked about going to the aquarium in Baltimore. Planned to meet at 10. I had planned to go grocery shopping in the AM, since DD gets up at 7. Shop before they get there, and then go to the aquarium. Then, they texted at 8:30 "Is it too late to switch and go to the zoo?" We had talked about the zoo yesterday, and knew that we would need to get there early to get parking. We texted back "zoo will be great. Let's make sure to get there early so that we can get parking and since MIL can't be out in super strong sun. What time do you think you will come over?" They did not text back. So, do I go and do my errand and risk them waiting on me? Do I wait for a text back and then decide if I have enough time? Do I skip grocery shopping and then do it when we get back? They end up arriving at 10 - we get to the zoo and no parking (as expected).

Again, their lack of planning / play it by ear / whenever we get there attitude is frustrating because it leaves people waiting until they "grace us with their presence." [They never say that, it just feels like that....]. We had a great time at the aquarium and I was happy to make the change, but I would have preferred not to have to grocery shop at 8:45 pm. I would not have had to do that if they had just texted back that they planned to arrive at 10 or "getting in the shower now, need about an hour."

They came to DC to visit us (and see DC). It feels rude of me to "make a plan" and tell them to come along or don't. "We are going to the zoo at 9. See you or not." I would be really annoyed if I took I train 6 hours to see someone and then they couldn't make time to spend time with me.

I guess that is the crux of my frustration. I feel like the point is to spend time together. Outings or hanging out would be fine, but let's decide. If you are just going to "stop by whenever" as I live my normal life, that is fine, but that seems like it would not be worth making the trip down.

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OMG, this is my sister and BIL to a tee. It drives me absolutely bonkers. My family (2 kids) met up with my sister's family (1 kid) at our parents' house last summer for a week. My sister and I had planned to cook most meals, since my mom's health is failing. The first night, I say to sis, "Let's make a plan of what we're making and when, make a grocery list, and go shopping." She looks at me like I'm nuts and says, "It's my vacation. I don't make lists on vacation."  Ooookay.  So we ended up going out to eat a lot, my husband grilled steaks one night, and I cooked one night. I wish she had just told me she didn't want to cook at all! That would have been ok -- but leading up to the trip, she seemed to be all-in on the shared cooking duties.

We had lots of other tangles like that one -- they like to sleep late, except my nephew woke up early and guess who had to take care of him til mommy and daddy woke up every day? By the time they woke up, dressed, and ate, it was usually about noon and my kids were bouncing off the walls. We finally had to just do our own thing (which made them furious) and let them catch up if they were interested. My sister still hasn't forgiven me, and our trip was last September.[/quote]

Dude, send nephew in to get mommy and daddy. It is not your job to watch their kid. [/quote]

This is PP -- ha! I tried that one morning. He came out again and said, "Mommy said it was ok if you gave me breakfast." [/quote]

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