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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]A therapist has suggested that we need to desensitize him and give DS permission/instruction/etc (not sure how we would word it to him) to tank a test so that he can see that it's not the end of the world.[/quote]

I was a kid (and adult) that always was extremely anxious about grades.  This seems like it is crazy advice.  Had I ever failed a test, it would have been the end of the world to me.  I would have hated myself.

I was thinking about what people said about a hobby and had a little different take.  I started working with glass as a hobby.  One of my favorite qualities of the hobby was that the project could be as good or as bad as I was ok with.  If it didn't come out right, I could re-cut a piece or just throw the entire thing away and that was ok.  It was very liberating.  [/quote]

The point is to show that it wouldn't really be the end of the world. We went through this with DD, except it's not just grades she's anxious about. She sits in the same place every day at lunch. Her therapist asked what would happen if she moved. She said she'd obsess about it during class until she could sit in the right place the next day. Because of the obsessing, she wouldn't learn that day. Because she missed the material, she'd fail the test. Because she failed the test, she wouldn't have a good gpa. That would mean she couldn't get into college. Then she wouldn't be able to get a good job, and eventually she'd probably end up homeless. All because she sat in a different seat at lunch. So her therapist encouraged her to sit somewhere else to show her that it wouldn't ruin her life. They came up with a plan for how she would sit somewhere else, and things to take her mind off the fact that she had done it. When she did it, it was hard, but she felt empowered.

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