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[quote=Anonymous]PP again. You guys would know best, but it might be time for a protection order. They are fairly easy to obtain, especially after physical injury and police involvement. But it would be necessary for your daughter to want to leave him. Obviously it doesn't do any good to get a protection order and for her to not want to be separated from him. It could actually backfire and get her arrested for violating it herself (it shouldn't happen, but it happens all the time).

When you see her this weekend, you might want to ask her how she sees herself staying safe. Like what plan does she have when physical violence happens again? Who can she call? How will she get out of there? What does she need to make that happen - in other words, develop a safety plan. The hotline workers can assist you in that, and there's also a section in Break the Cycle's web page about helping a friend that I believe addresses some of that. Your daughter needs to be an active participant in her safety planning while you guys figure out how to extricate her safely from this guy.

I know it's incredibly hard and you want to say, "just leave the guy, presto, all problems are solved" but it often doesn't work that way. Sometimes that works of course, but you never really know who you're dealing with until you put the plans to leave in motion. Statistically speaking she's at her highest risk when and right after leaving (so PP, that's why you just beat the guy up and call it done).

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