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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - both very low sex level (always been that way due to his drive) and because of all the past hurts I'm just not sexually attracted to him anymore.  I love him as a person, have fun with him, and think with the work we've put in we could make it work ok - but I don't feel any flame / passion for him anymore.  And he's ok with that b/c he never sought passion in the first place.[/quote]

I understand. I made the same bargain and thought I could stick to it, but I also thought there was a good chance it could change with a positive, healthy, accepting relationship. I had a SHTF moment not too long ago that precipitated DH to go to a therapist. Too early to say where it will come out, but I really had to pull an ultimatum to bring actions that even hint at the hope of change. The weird thing is that even though he is trying, he has rejected me sexually for so long, that I am sort of offended now when he shows interest after all this time. It's difficult - now I have stuff too. Have been too self sacrificing.  It's a tough one. If I hadn't demanded it, he would have been okay with the status quo. Sometimes I think it would have been best not even to have raised it. Not sure where it will come out, or if it is all just sound and fury.[/quote]

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