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[quote=Anonymous]I have a generally cordial relationship with ILs, but there is one area that I do care about now that I had kids.  My parents are immigrants and from a different culture/ethnicity than DH (differences include language, food, and religion not to mention skintone etc).  ILs are certainly not completely sheltered, but they do now live in a much more homogenous area and don't seem to have a very diverse set of friends.  They have always treated aspects of me and my culture as a sort of curiosity, without realizing that what they deem "unusual" and "exotic" is just how I grew up and after 10 years it's a little weird to consistently view me as an outsider.  It's particularly bothersome since they make a big deal out of maintaining aspects of their Irish heritage (even though it's actually a much smaller fraction of their blood line).

I've been willing to let this go, but it's different now that I have kids who obviously share 50% of my heritage.  Before DD was born, MIL made jokes that she didn't even realize were tasteless about how no one would think DD looked Irish despite her last name (ironically, her baby pictures are indistinguishable from DH's).  And she also refuses to correctly pronounce DD's name, saying it's too hard when pretty much every other white person has figured out to say it, and now even DD's cousins from DH's side are telling me that DD's name is "weird".  These things bother me, since I feel like she's sending a message that DD is weird and other as well, when DD is her own blood.  Obviously as DD gets older I will explain things to her, but I hate that I will have to intervene in that relationship.[/quote]

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