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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Since having an ADHD child (who is now 14), I've really had to change my mindset on these behaviors. I'd never call my child "sneaky." Why? Because that implies that my child is consciously doing something malicious.

Things that I know now....

- We, as humans, will always try to find what stimulates our brains. That's what gives us pleasure. My child uses the ipad because it stimulates her brain. 
- My ADHD child has trouble sleeping. She was always a bad sleeper even as an infant. She has not learned how to calm her body down so she can sleep. Her ADHD brain is racing all the time. 
- My ADHD kid loses track of time. She doesn't know 10 minutes or one hour.  She never thinks she's running late. Time simply doesn't exist. 
- My ADHD kid is impulsive. She will do things without thinking. She does not think about consequences. 
- My ADHD kid cannot regulate herself. Self control is very weak. 
- My ADHD kid does not respond well to punishment. She most often times does not know WHY she is being punished because she can't connect the dots.

She is not sneaky. We also never accuse her of lying. She does what she does without regard to how it affects us, her parents.

That's pretty much our baseline.

And yes, we do have issues with her using the ipad late at night, especially when she can't sleep.

So lately, we've just had to take it away.  [/quote]

OP here.  I totally take back the word "sneaky."

Thanks for calling me out on it.

[/quote]

A different pp here- awhile back, I wouldn't have had much heartburn about how we characterize behavior. I recall however, sitting in a parent teacher conference when the teacher was describing my DS as "defiant" because he wandered the room when he was supposed to be working. After some digging around and having his therapist do some classroom observations, we discovered that DS didn't understand how to start projects, was feeling anxious, and coping by avoiding the task. Once we got better support in place the "defiance" improved- it was an issue with executive functioning deficits and anxiety/embarrassment. 
Since then, I have tried to focus on the bahavior instead of the motivation. Kids with these issues are at the side of the bell curve- the behavior is an outlier, but so is the thinking/motivation behind it. My DH does some odd things and when I call him on it, his explanations are often unexpected. [/quote]

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