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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why can't you just be a proud mom? Why do you need to include the label single?  Btw I am a single mom as well but I find it a hokey label and never use it.  I just say I am a mom.  [/quote]
Because we choose how we identify ourselves. And why can't you just be happy for a mom who caught a break? (NP here). [/quote]

Thanks, PP. OP here killing time while DD is on a tour. Listen, I wrote about being a single mother because it is one of the most defining things that ever happened in my life. I had my daughter at 21 while trying to finish up student teaching. I don't begrudge anyone's decision in terms of how they view themselves, but I have spent 17 years as a parent completely and utterly alone. My parents did not support my pregnancy, viewed it as a disgrace, and basically spent five years estranged from me and DD (I was from a conservative, southern family). My boyfriend refused to step up and co-parent and basically disappeared for nearly ten years before re-appearing with a wife, children of his own and a sudden desire to occasionally invite my daughter to their family's functions (more often than not she's not included and he has no desire to spend more time with her). His parents even refused to acknowledge DD. I have struggled and been judged because of my decision to be a single mother.

Meanwhile, I went to school at night and spent my student loans to pay for a sitter to watch my daughter at night (thank God the district provided me tuition reimbursement) so I could finish my master's degree and clinical rotations. We did this while living in a studio apartment. I was alone, scared and felt the weight of the world on my shoulders.  I saved my pennies and was able to buy a tiny townhouse in a decent school district by the time DD was in KG.

It was my choice and the right choice for me. I don't view the years as lost. I have grown in ways that make me seem so much older a 38-year-old. I have good friends in the trenches of small children and I recall those years fondly even with the stress. I don't regret anything. I have a career I love. I raised a great kid. I have a great group of friends and enjoy my hobbies.

I wanted to share my story to help someone who's in the struggle know that they can do what's right by their own children. It's a struggle, but you aren't alone.[/quote]

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