Reply to "Parents Should Never Punish Their Kids"

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Reply to ""Parents Should Never Punish Their Kids""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I do a lot of this with my son. I'm not perfect. But I completely agree that kids (anyone) habituate to punishment and it becomes increasingly less effective.

And largely, it's been successful. I don't know if I would have had the patience to use this approach if I had had more than one kid. And he's 9. Let's see how this investment pays off in the crazy teen years. I don't know that yet.

It's interesting too. I owned a dog before I had a kid. When I got the dog, all the rescue people said to use positive reinforcement. Don't punish. They don't understand being punished. We grew up punishing our dogs, so I had to unlearn everything I had seen.  I did have to change a lot. And I had a much better behaved dog as an adult.

And yes, I just compared raising a dog to raising a child. I see a lot of similarities.  ;) [/quote]

Raising a dog is totally different (and a lot easier IMO). A dog wants to please their owner, first of all, and a child's job is not to please their parent. The relationship formed between an owner and a dog is the end-all and be-all of the experience, whereas raising a child is all about them becoming independent of the parents. Totally different experience unfortunately.

I have more than one kid, and I can say that kids are different. Some are just naturally able to listen to reason and adjust their behavior, and others just aren't. I think parents of "good" kids can chalk it up to their particular parenting style, but honestly it's probably the kid's personality more than anything else.[/quote]

It's not a kid's job to please a parent, but they naturally want to.   Part of positive reinforcement is letting kids know that with increased independence comes increased responsibility, so the goal is autonomy and the "payment" is doing the right thing.  They are positively rewarded for good behavior by getting more independence and autonomy.[/quote]

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