Reply to Stupid Question Alert: What does it mean for your child to have/ be under IEP?

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Reply to "Stupid Question Alert: What does it mean for your child to have/ be under IEP?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How does going to a private school avoid stigma?   Your child is just stigmatized by a different group of kids.[/quote]

Depends on what kind of stigma you are afraid of?

Stigma from peers or stigma from school administrators and teachers.

[/quote]

For my child, I found that school administrators and teachers at our private school were poorly trained in special needs and weren't able to handle my child's special needs.  They were quick to label him a "bad kid" and me "a bad parent." They were terrible, even when I was willing to spend money to have a psychologist meet with them to discuss what might make the situation better. The kids and their families weren't much better. My child was definitely "the weird one" and I was definitely labeled "the bad mom."  It was a very high achieving group of parents and I felt like they thought they were going to catch something from us.

I quit in frustration and we trooped off to public school.

Our public school was terrific. We gave them a heads up on the way in and we had an IEP meeting right away. My child got terrific pull out supports and ST and a school psychologist. The public school emphasized tolerance and diversity and respect for others over "achieve at any cost."  The teachers were trained in SNs and had resource people to call for help if they were frustrated. My child made friends and was accepted by his classmates. He had a lot of work to do on classroom behavior, but he got through it.  He is now a happy, thriving 7th grader who excels in mainstream honors classes at his public junior high school.

Public school and an IEP saved my kid.  [/quote]

can you share the school district?[/quote]

Op here. Are you local?  Could you please share the school district?

Thanks everyone for replying.  I'm trying to take in all the information posted and again, it is very overwhelming.  My DS was just diagnosed last week at the Kennedy Krieger Institute.  We have not received the final report so I don't the severity of what we are facing.  Will it tell me where to start?  How will I know what is available?  I have an older child who is currently in private and we don't want her life to be taken over with siblings' diagnosis.

I am more concerned about the stigma from teachers and administrators.  And secretly I am afraid that I won't do the right thing, spend enough time, spend enough money and he will fail, he will fall through the cracks and it will be my fault.  [/quote]

OP, when you say "we don't know the severity of what we are facing," I understand that you want to read what the experts have to say, but your child is still your child.  He's the same child he was last week.  You know him.  You know his strengths and weaknesses.  You have an understanding of him that is as important (if not more important) than what is reported by experts.  Please do not give over so much power to expert reports, especially about your son's prognosis and with the diagnosis of what is a spectrum disorder.

As for stigma, public or private, that depends on the school, the classroom, the group of kids, your child, and yes, your attitude.  It also depends on the quality of your chlld's IEP.  A good IEP can ease your child's transition into school and make it easy for him to function in a classroom, without stigma.  No IEP?  That sounds like a recipe for disaster.[/quote]

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