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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do I get her to focus on schools that are not "name brand?" She is being courted by the likes of Oberlin, Grinnell and Skidmore, but shows know real interest. We visited Smith & Wellesley and she and her Dad like them.[/quote]

You review with her the common data sets of those schools, to show her the stats of students there and how her's do not measure up. E.g., UVA:

https://avillage.web.virginia.edu/iaas/cds/cds1516all.shtm

Here, she can see that 94% of enrolled freshmen at UVA last year had GPAs of 3.75 or higher. Could she be admitted to UVA with a 3.3 GPA? Sure, it's possible. Is it likely? No.

Google the name of the college she is interested in and "common data set" to find this info about most colleges.

Information like this allows her to identify reaches, matches, and safeties. For safeties, her stats should be similar to the top students at the school. So, at UVA, which has an SAT-V middle 50th percentile range of 620-720, she would want an SAT-V score well above 720. etc. (Although if the admit rate is less than, say, 40%, the school can't be considered a safety for anyone. UVA at most would be a match for a student with the right stats.)

The most important thing is to first identify safeties that the student would be okay with attending THAT YOU KNOW YOU CAN AFFORD. So tell her you don't want to discuss reaches until she has her safeties nailed down. Then work on the matches. Only then should you/she make serious exploration of reaches.

The conversation goes like this: The most important thing is not that you go to UVA. The most important thing is that you go to college. And secondly, that you have good choices. So the first thing to do is to make sure you have schools we know you can get into, that we can afford, that are acceptable to you. Let's find some safeties first.

She should have, say, 2-3 safeties, 3 matches, 2-3 reaches. If you had another reach, add another match, too.

Don't allow her to fall in love with reach schools. Don't indulge the dreaming. Be very matter of fact and unemotional. Kind but honest and realistic. There is no such thing as a dream school. There is no such thing as a perfect school. There are a hundred schools out there where your DD could be happy and get a good education.

It's really easy to start to feel sorry for our strong students who will never get into top schools. But don't give in to this. It is counterproductive and self-indulgent. She's a strong student, a great kid, lots of schools will want her. It doesn't matter that ALL schools aren't open to her. She is in a better position than most kids. Don't allow the elite schools be the enemy of the good ones.

Read the parent forum at College Confidential for lots of good advice. Also, the books "Colleges that Change Lives" and "Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be."[/quote]

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