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[quote=Anonymous]My elderly father has been in skilled nursing care for over three years.

He has dementia and was living a quiet life at home with my mom as his sole caretaker.  Then, he fell getting out of his own bed in the middle of the night.  Shattered and dislocated his hip.  Rescue squad raced him to hospital, unsure if he'd survive.  Went from hospital to nursing home in skilled nursing and took precipitous decline.

Yes, he is safe and well cared for in nursing home, but now I have to supervise my mom who is living back in their house alone and check in on my dad.  I live more than an hour away, work part time away and have my own young family.

My mom is hardest to manage.  She's lonely but insists she'll never move into a nursing home with or without my dad.  She needs companionship and expects me, as the only daughter, to swoop in and help whenever she asks.

I try to attend care nursing home planning meetings, visit my dad, help her make major decisions (buy/sell her car), assist with her house chores, minor home repairs, computer problems, on and on.  Oh, and she expects me to call her daily.  It's grueling and I'm not coping well.

I don't have any friends in this situation - most of my close friends have significantly younger parents - and so there's a general lack of understanding in general. I hear repeatedly from friends that they never see me by when I remind them of my parents, the conversation grinds to a halt.

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