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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP: I am not "used to relying on my mom".  She lives 10 hours away and worked full time until just before my son's health crisis.  She has never provided any free child care for me.  I only tried to rely on her during a crisis.  I asked for very little child care during the crisis, only emotional support for my daughters.  Please don't twist my story.  I did not ask my parents to pay for college or help me financially since the age of 18, and I do not feel entitled to such help.[/quote]

Ok, perhaps that was a poor choice of words, as that is not what I meant. I can understand your taking a stance against that. What I meant was: 
It's sounds like your son has some serious health issues, and on this particular day, when things were going downhill in a scary trajectory,  it appears as if your parents, both of them, didn't acknowledge the severity of the situation which hurt you. I'm a little puzzled as to why she insisted on being picked up, and frankly, I would not have picked her up rather than speak to the neurologist. I'm wondering if she didn't fully understand.

I agree with a pp regarding the idea that this is more than what is being said.  You obviously have many hurt feelings, but so much is being put to the test here in this scary situation. Communication is the key if you do want your parents in your life. I don't know if your mother is selfish and greedy, or if this is a long term issue that is coming to head here.

I am sorry if I said anything to make you feel as if you were being viewed as a brat. That wasn't what I meant. I simply feel that you have more needs that can be met by your parents now- for whatever reason they can't meet them. I also feel that this is the time to shore up the resources you do have for this is an issue that will encompass many years. Separate that from why your Mom didn't do all that you thought she would do, and take care of yourself, your son, and your family.

You know, I was a pretty easy kid.  One of my sisters was a nightmare, and my other sister was a typical teenager. When we became adults. I was kind of hurt that my parents did as little as possible when my kids were born and throughout their lives. They loved them, I know that,  but there was no help,  no babysitting,  nothing.  And they were easy kids, too.  I think my mom actually felt bad about that, but what she wanted was freedom. They moved to a smaller condo and had the life she wanted sans  kids. She was a good Mom, but probably would not have had kids if given that option. Anyway, I was resentful for a long time.  When she died, and then after my Dad died,  I went through their pictures, papers, correspondence, etc., and so much more became clear to me and I realized more than I ever did. I wasn't able to separate my needs ,when I was in my thirties, about them as my parents and the two of them as people. I should have.  
You have a great need now, and you deserve some empathy. Reorganize...your life, your needs, your expectations, and relationships. Take what your parents can give without judgement, because in the end that's what matters.
FWIW, I would be over in a second to help you. ? I aplogize if I wasn't clear earlier and hurt your feelings.

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