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[quote=Anonymous]OP, my heart breaks for you.

I work in a hospital and I can tell you that many parents suffer PTSD after the hospitalization of a child. It is a deep trauma and some do not ever fully recover. They enter a new normal, but it is nothing like before. Please read up on the symptoms of PTSD. I cannot tell you how many parents are traumatized, literally, by this experience (not to mention their children, but that is another topic).

Treat yourself gently. Pamper yourself with good self-care strategies every day. Consider trauma therapy (EMDR) or another modality that will lead to healing. Healing is slow, but there is a lot of new information on trauma resilience coming out. Read up.

Repeat hospitalizatios for your son may be triggering for you. They are for many parents of chronically and acutely ill children. A lot of recent research is being done on the trauma experience of parents of NICU babies. It applies to all pediatric hospital admissions when there is an acute crisis

Find other mothers. Seriously. Find and nurture friendships with older women. They can provide you with the steadiness and care you need in order to be able to care for others. I have that role in the life of a 29 year old woman with two children. I provide a level of concern and involvement and support for her and her kids that she is unable to get from her family. There are many 50+ women like me.

Think of your mother as an aunt. Put as much emotional investment into the relationship as you would an aunt. Expect about as much reciprocity as you would from an aunt. Then, when you are old, do things differently so that the cycle of neglect or indifference or dysfunction is broken.

One day at a time. One hour at a time. With a sick child, that's about what you can do right now. Don't borrow trouble from the future, or ruminate about the past. You are a GREAT mother. Your kids are lucky to have you, very lucky.

Did I say to pamper yourself? Do that tonight. Hot bath, cup of tea, whatever you like. Mother yourself, and find other mothers. Some of the best mothers for you won't be the one that is genetically related to you. They are out there. Trust me!

I think that's all for tonight. Hugs. [/quote]

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