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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Also, to clarify, DD's nanny did come everyday.  But[b] MIL offered to let her leave early[/b], and she gladly accepted.  I know she had made other afternoon plans, so I didn't feel okay asking her to cancel them after already giving her the time off.  While she's great and did go out of her way to help with niece and nephew, it's really not her job, and I don't expect her to stay extra hours to watch them, especially while DD is down for a long nap.[/quote]

Nanny doesn't work for MIL; she works for YOU. You tell MIL not to arrange things with the nanny, and you tell nanny to come to you to double-check if MIL tries to make arrangements with her.

FFS.[/quote]

MIL did not make this arrangement with her nanny without consulting me.  Before the visit, she suggested that I could tell her nanny to take some time off, which I offered to her nanny.  I didn't really expect that MIL and FIL would just go MIA for hours after the nanny left...and I didn't want to go back on my offer to the nanny after the first time it happened since I know she had made specific plans.  I agree, it was a mistake on may part, but they've never visited without SIL and BIL, so I had no idea that they would do this.  FWIW, MIL and FIL provide regular before- and after-care for niece and nephew at their home plus often take them for weekends etc, so I thought they were used to taking care of them.

And yes, DH should have taken time off or at least come home early.  I should have clarified that better with him beforehand but didn't, and it was a little difficult to have that discussion after it happened with a house full of guests when he was flat our refusing to do so.  I don't understand why he was being kind of a jerk about it (imho), he's not usually like that.  Usually, when they come to visit, he makes more effort to be around (half days etc)...this was unexpected.

I'm just venting, not pretending that I played no role in this situation.  But I do think that after they leave tonight, DH will have to deal with a bit of an earful (well, except I'll probably be working most of tonight on a project that I haven't been able to concentrate on plus a co-worker has been dragging his feet getting me his contributions for leaving me currently DIW...which is a significant source of the stress).[/quote]

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