Reply to what kind of career can one have with a child on the autism spectrum?

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Reply to "what kind of career can one have with a child on the autism spectrum?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Obviously everyone on here is going to have different kids, different salaries, different needs, different flexibility, different help. That said, like another poster said, there's this idea that you *must* do all these things for your kids, and really, for a lot of kids, you just don't need to be doing every single thing you can.

My son was diagnosed with severe ADHD at age 3. Not nearly the same as HFA or ASD, I get it.  But arguably a much bigger problem on a day to day basis versus the long term issues of HFA (in the sense that he's highly aggressive, lacks self regulation, and is constantly on the verge of being kicked out of childcare - we were getting daily calls telling us there was something desperately wrong with our kid).  At first, we looked at all kinds of solutions.  In addition to missing half days here and there for a dev ped appointment, pediatrician, evaluations, etc, the OT told us we needed twice weekly OT, and we needed speech (for ear fluid issues), and the dev ped suggested twice week behavioral therapy. Plus we were advised to look into team sports, swimming to get the energy out, etc etc. A million things that were going to help the issue.  I work full time, but with lots of flexibility and cash wasn't a problem, but we tried to pursue this for a few months but this was crazy.  And ironically, my son's issues got exponentially worse under stress. Plus, all of these suggestions are unproven, unquantifiable therapies so there's no immediate or guaranteed beneift. I never was able to find a behavioral therapist near us, but talked to a couple on the phone.  One of whom said her 7 year old son sounded exactly like mine, and she said I was already using effective parenting strategies. And everything else was hooey at age 3 (including the behavioral therapy she could do).  She said he'll either chill out in the next couple years or we'll need meds in a couple years.  Another couple therapists pretty much agreed. Hearing some experts (with money to lose from saying this) all admit this gave me the pass I was looking for. We dropped all the craziness, found a preschool that has been awesome, and cut back to once a week speech therapy on site at the school (so doesn't involve me at all!).  I'm super happy I still work because it gives me a break from worrying about my son all the time!

I know our story is individual and not everyone has this option, but there are literally limitless things you *can* do for your kids. But for some of us, at what cost?  Financial cost?  Cost of sanity of having your own career?  Cost of quality time lost with your other kids and spouse?  And for us, the super high cost of stress.  You just don't have to do *everything* you can for your kids.

I think, for *some* parents (note: not all. I'm not talking about you if you really, really need to drive your kids to 30 hours of appointments a week) I think there is a slippery slope that you quit your job to focus on your kid, and then you inevitably FILL your life with all things related to said kid. Even if it's not all necessary, but it definitely justifies your choices. It's a self-created cycle . [/quote]

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