Reply to If your family doesn't like your spouse...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do you manage it? How do you suggest that they be civil or at least try to learn to like her? [/quote]

Your spouse comes first. Your parents and sibs don't get a choice. They don't get to pick who you marry. If your parents and sibs are rude to your spouse, you should stand up for your spouse and not subject her to them. Make it clear that you are a team and to attack her is to attack you.

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No, the person/people who are in the right, come first. Sometimes that's spouse. Sometimes that's family of origin. Do they have legitimate reasons to dislike your spouse? Or are they irrational and baseless?[/quote]

WTF?  You parents and sibs need to mind their own business. If there is a serious problem - like an alcoholic abusive spouse, that's one thing.  But don't consult your "family of origin" for your nuclear family decisions.  And don't come here playing Master Judge of who is "in the right", your spouse or your mommy. Ridiculous.

Good luck with life.  And P.S. You had been be honest on what you are exaggerating and telling your "family of origin" about your spouse. RIght now you sound like a real doozy. And if your parents are real parents, they will step back and tell you they don't want to hear such things, work them out amongst the two of them. That's real parenting, not having a bitchfest with your adult son about his wife. [/quote]

I think I know why your spouse's family may not like you. Because you are seriously batshit. [/quote]

I am not pp, but I think you are missing the point.

do you really think the extended family should decide nuclear family''s choices? sounds like controlling / possible emotional abuse in itself.

my interpretation of what the pp said. absent abuse, MYOB, and let the family work out marriage stresses and make decisions on their own. you don't "own" them.

I find your response pretty frightening.

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