Reply to If your family doesn't like your spouse...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do you manage it? How do you suggest that they be civil or at least try to learn to like her? [/quote]

Your spouse comes first. Your parents and sibs don't get a choice. They don't get to pick who you marry. If your parents and sibs are rude to your spouse, you should stand up for your spouse and not subject her to them. Make it clear that you are a team and to attack her is to attack you.

[/quote]

No, the person/people who are in the right, come first. Sometimes that's spouse. Sometimes that's family of origin. [b]Do they have legitimate reasons to dislike your spouse? Or are they irrational and baseless?[/b][/quote]

This matters a lot.   I'm not going to even pretend to be civil to my sibling's abusive spouse, who abuses both my sibling and my nieces and nephews.   Sibling wants to put the spouse first, so the family, including the kids, have bugged out of there. [/quote]

Really? We are in a similar situation (DH's sister married to really controlling guy), and we put up with him because of the kids. We feel like she may need someone (or the kids may need someone) down the line for help. And we rather be her point of contact. [/quote]

The kids are out of there.   The other parent has full custody now.   Because of CPS and therapist reports, and the like.   Sibling chose abusive spouse over the kids.   Sibling is also now verbally abusive to my elderly parents.   There is no reason to put up with that behavior now.[/quote]

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