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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Stay at home mom"
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[quote=Anonymous]The decision to be a SAHM sounds nuts in your situation. You are the stable income earner. That right there points to the main reason why you should work and your husband, if anything, should be the default parent or SAHP. He isn't it seems and your idea doesn't address the bigger point which is you are married to someone who isn't helping to contribute to your family either in terms of income or in terms of nurturing. You are functionally a single parent, OP. Here is the screwed up thing. I don't think leaving your husband is going to fix the issue. Here is what happened to my best friend who left her husband in a similar scenario as yours OP. My friend was a physician who was making decent money. Her ex was in sales but was marginally employed. The guy was also lazy and didn't do much with the kids (3 of 'em). So, OP, my friend filed for divorce and sought main physical custody since she's the default parent, blah blah. Welp. Her ex also filed for custody and alimony and child support and in an attempt to avoid a protracted legal battle my friend writes a monthly check in alimony and child support to her ex who either doesn't show up on his custody days or schleps the kids to his parents. My friend is probably going to try to get things adjusted, but right now, she is working, trying to keep her kids' in a good mental space, and just trying to keep her sanity. It's horrible, OP. Here is the advice my friend gives women who are in your situation. It will be cheaper and easier to hire out for help than to blow things up. She regrets not biding her time until the kids were grown because she didn't hate her ex, she just felt like she was a single mom in a marriage. [/quote]
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