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[quote=Anonymous]OP, be prepared for a high conflict experience, be prepared for the worst.  If his NPD goes to the level of being a sociopath, expect him to be manipulative and to lie.  He may not be, but be prepared for all sorts of accusations.

Many NPD spouses try to turn things around to make YOU seem like the abuser while they're the victim.  They'll start recruiting friends and family and twist partial facts to give credibility to their claims and fill in the story.  You need experts to help you through this if it turns down this path.

He may agree to alternative resolution on many things, but I think you will need an advocate in your corner, someone who understands the dynamics of personality disorders.  Budget $5000 to $15000 for an attorney.  If he starts making outrageous lies, you will have someone who can calmly refute these, step by step, early on.  It is harder to UNDO things once it is entered as a court order.

Also be prepared to hire your own experts.  Get a therapist.  You will need as much documentation that YOU are the reasonable party as you can get.  Remember, the courts don't know you, and you cant assume they'll be able o understand what an NPD diagnosis means.  They'll assume you're BOTH nuts, or when he starts with the outrageous accusations, their negative assumptions will make things extra difficult for you trying to prove each allegation is false.

Start now building your support system.  You will need it.  Prepare your closest friends that you may be a basket case during this.  Try to arrange time off from work.

Please start reading the book Splitting.  It was written by a lawyer and Social worker, and I swear, it was like a play by play book of everything my NPD ex-husband did.  Eerie.[/quote]

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