Reply to my teen daughter

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have been there done that.  Here is the deal.  NO long talks.  They won't listen and will put up the wall even higher.

I once saw a speaker talk about how young teens become toddlers again.  You can't rationalize with them, they are stubborn, throw tantrums etc...   The less you say, the better the relationship.

Get a dry erase boards.  Put daily expectations on it:

1. Finish homework
2. Walk the Dog
3. Family dinner
4. Clean the table/run the dishwasher

Once she completes the board, she gets her phone for X amount of time.  If she does not finish the board, she doesn't get her phone.

Phone and all electronics are plugged in by 9:30pm on school nights regardless.  If not, she loses the phone for 48hrs.

Also, take her out on a date at least once a week.  Grab starbucks, go to the mall, see a movie etc...  Don't talk about your expectations.  Just hang out and have fun.  Tell her about your mistakes in high school.  Let her know you were there too once.  It can make a difference.

Lastly, mend things with your husband and get on the same page.  Kids learn quickly they can divide and conquer and will try to sabotage your relationship for their benefit.  
[/quote]

New Poster here, this is great advice! I am copying and pasting to use with my own teen battles.[/quote]

We use this method too (I'm pp who turns off stuff via the router. Which by the way works for all wifi devices not just phones).
Putting it in writing is good for everyone. It cuts down on the negative back and forth and misunderstandings.
My DD will say that I have to put stuff in writing though - so be aware that if you don't think of it when you write it up they might call you on it.
Also we have agreed (parents and DD) to give her a weekly list so that she can do things when she chooses to which is reasonable as long as she gets them done.

She also has a lot of homework and activities but having some chores and cleaning up after yourself are essential character/ life preparation building things.[/quote]

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