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[quote=Anonymous]Oh my, OP. What a mess. I feel for you.
If you weren't being stuck with MIL, I would say you should say nothing to her. But if you are stuck with her and she is urging you to intervene, simply point out to her that (1) your DH has only known about this for a month while she has known for decades (2) that her attempts to minimize this by saying he has had a good life and that it isn't important is not the way to mend things because obviously it is a big deal to him, and she should be more empathetic and not just expect him to "get over it" (3) it seems like your DH feels a sense of betrayal that people besides him (this person who blurted it out) know key information about his own life that he did not and that was deliberately kept from him (4) was the plan to never tell him? 
Maybe your MIL could watch the movie "Open Secrets" or do some reading and try to learn some new ways of approaching her son. The key thing seems to be not just the info but the thoughtless way it came out. Your poor DH.  [/quote]

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