Reply to how to get my mom to "drop it"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, thank you everyone!  You all pretty much said what Ive been thinking and what my spouse has been saying. I just needed to hear opinions from neutral parties. My relationship with my parents, mainly my mom, has been strained. I keep trying to make it work, banging my head against the same wall, but I know I need to stop.  Depressingly, even the times Ive visited at her request, it's never enough anyway. Not sure what she is even looking for from us, but I probably need to spend less time worrying. [/quote]

OP, I had a friend like your mother, I let the nonsense go on much longer than I should have, and by chance, I recently came across a clinical name for this pattern of behavior - unmeetable neediness. Just hearing the name of it helped me understand that I had done nothing wrong - the amount of need this person is demanding from you is unmeetable - nothing you do will ever satisfy her. There are probably a lot of reasons for why she's like this, but she's not the one here posting for help, so I won't go into that angle of it.

Now, this is your mother, not a friend, so you probably don't want to cut her off, but it sounds like you definitely need some strong boundaries. She is harassing you. Let her know that you see this for what it is, and that you're taking a break for the next month, and block her number until then. [/quote]

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