Reply to Quitting 4th grade instrumental music

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[quote=Anonymous]An hour of screaming and crying, from a nine-year old? Seriously? No one's life was ever ruined because they did not play a trombone in fourth grade. I think it's emotionally abusive to drive a child to screaming and crying over such a thing. Why don't you listen to her and respect her feelings?

Maybe in time she'd like to try another instrument. If you can afford it, get her some private lessons and let her do things at her own pace. Maybe she is the anxious type who will always hate performing, but would enjoy and certainly benefit from playing an instrument for herself, with some lessons and no heavy practice schedule. You never know, one day she could mature on her own and want to join band/orchestra.

I have three kids, and they vary greatly. One always refused to play any instrument, but has grown up to be successful in life with a full set of interests and other skills. Another of them is always first chair in his instrument and totally self motivated. Sometimes he asks for private lessons, and recently took up another instrument. The youngest one is elementary level, voluntarily plays multiple instruments, but needs gentle reminding and encouragement to practice. She wants lessons in one instrument but not in another. I think her experience in school right now with one of her instruments is making her not want to play that instrument, because the class is boring and too huge to do anything with.

The two music-loving kids are allowed to take breaks from playing when they choose. If they don't feel like playing for a month or two, I'd rather they take the break, rather than developing a hatred for it. I do still talk to them about practicing and discipline. They see for themselves how practice and hard work pays, but people have to learn to motivate themselves in life. 
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