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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oy. Thanks everyone for the divergent views! And for the suggestions about how to manage - I think we need to do something a bit more formal in the future.

Fwiw I am the 10/11hr drive sibling; with 2 elementary kids and a FT job, the only realistic thing for me is one longer trip. It's just too long a drive (or too much $$ on flights and rental car) to do twice in one summer.

I'm hesitant to push back on my sibling who lives nearby. He isn't the caretaker per se but visits our parent (who has very advanced Alzheimers) twice a week and does most of the day-to-day calls that come in regarding minor issues. For which we are all truly grateful.

But he sent out an email last week about date preferences while I was in a closed-door meeting for work, and by the time I got to my email, he and other sibs had grabbed all of August. I asked everyone if they had any flexibility and he alone pushed back. He gave up a weekend last August for another sibling and is apparently still angry about it.

I get his sense of grievance, but at the same time, he always takes a week in late August, usually including Labor Day, when those of us with kids are not able to go. And half the dates he claims, they wind up not using because his wife doesn't like to be at the beach unless it's sunny and warm.

At this stage I either have to push him, which I hate to do, or reschedule kids' camps (if that's even possible) or just find somewhere else to go. Maybe the PP is right about selling the house. It would kill me, it's the last piece of my late mother that I have, and that's one of the reasons I love to go there. But maybe it's just not realistic to think that there can be an easy way to manage this kind of thing....[/quote]

Ok, but if you know everyone fights over August, why didn't you just plan to go in July from the beginning?

Once second parent dies, how will you all handle maintenance issues, especially expensive ones that are bound to pop up?[/quote]

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