Reply to To the person who recommended the book, "Yes Your Teen is Crazy!"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Shoot, I think this also might explain my 6 year old.[/quote]

Yes, I think this approach is good advice for all parents.

Here's the thing: most of us labor under the delusion that we can control our children. The truth is, we can't, any more than we can control any other person. Sure, when they're little, it [i]feels[/i] like control, because they are little enough to be physically moved from situations we don't want them in, and they rely on us so much that we have lots of tools for manipulation. (Larla can't go to the playground without you, so you can use that carrot to get her to pick up her toys, etc.) And young children often want very much to please the people they love best.

But when they are bigger than you, and when they need you for relatively little, and when they are going through the important separation base where they are less interested in pleasing you, a lot of the tricks parents relied on don't work anymore. And that's why so many parents feel angry and helpless in dealing with their teens.

And when you have a more difficult younger child (like perhaps this 6-year old, or my DC1) you figure out how little control you have earlier than the teen years. These techniques often work well for those kids, too.[/quote]

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