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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can you ask her to go to counseling? I know I need it.

I'm low drive now. Didn't used to be. It's a combination of too much to do, never enough sleep, and an emotional issue I have with my husband. He was doing drugs and drinking too much for the first couple of years of our marriage, and I didn't know about the drug use at all.  He was extremely mean and called me a whore (I'm the furthest thing from it. He just hated that I had a sexual past at all). And at the same time, he wanted to start trying new things sexually. So I've always associated the request for being more free and uninhibited in bed with him with his mean behavior.

He gave up drinking and drugging about 5 years ago. But I can't get past that horrible experience with the man who's supposed to be my life partner.  We have sex 1-2 times a week,  but I'm still very inhibited. I know it could be better.

I say all this in case there are some emotional issues, or trust issues, or something similar in your marriage. That could be a killer. [/quote]

OP here. Thank you for your response and I am sorry that you had this experience with your husband. I could completely appreciate and understand your Low Drive in this situation, and your husband would hold a huge amount of responsibility in creating this situation.  I am not aware of anything, and she has not said anything when I have asked her, that would lead me to believe that there is anything I have done that undermined our relationship.  The only thing I can think of is that I started socially smoking again a few years ago and I lied to her about it when she caught me, but that was a brief period and it was after the decline in sex had started.  I apologized and stopped.[/quote]

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