Reply to Any moms out there walk away and give custody to dad?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know I'll be crucified for this but I'm curious if anyone has done this. I'm strongly considering it. I've been to a lawyer and know I want a divorce, but I think I've finally come to terms with the fact that I'm not a good mom. I wouldn't do this out of hate or anything other than I honestly think my daughter will be better off without me. The only person my husband has a bad temper with is me - he's got a lot of patience with our daughter (6) and I feel like she'd grow up without any of the drama I bring. I'm the yeller, the one who loses patience, the one with the biting tongue. I am no good. Anyone do this and be OK with it, as "OK" as you can be?
[/quote]

Your daughter will not be better off without you, OP, and you won't be better off without her.

I was an easily frustrated stressed out mom before my divorce. I felt like I never got to enjoy my DD because every part of our relationship was transactional - doctor appointments, sick days, school stuff, making sure she was up and dressed at the right time, to school at the right time, had dinner at an appropriate hour. I did ALL of those things and my husband did none of them. The result was the he got all the fun stuff and I got all the work.

When we separated, we agreed to 50/50 custody. I won't get into what the schedule was, but we traded off weekends, so every other weekend and a couple nights during the week, I had down time. He was responsible for 50% of the doctor's appointments. He was responsible for 50% of the sick days and snow days. I learned how to prioritize relaxation time with DD in addition to the logistical stuff, and I also got enough time to myself that I didn't feel as overwhelmed. There are times when I feel sad that I do not get her all the time, but I am happy with the balance we have now. It has forced both my ex and me to step up - him to the logistics and me to the fun.

It sounds like you are depressed. I would strongly encourage you to get some help for that. I took Wellbutrin for a couple of years and it helped immensely.[/quote]

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