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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^^^wrong on all accounts. I have lived through and witnessed entire families destroyed because someone (my sibling) decided to cut of family members. It us possible to protect yourself without dragging everyone else into your drama and dysfunctional relationships--and this grand declarations do just that.[/quote]

+1 NP and another person who has witnessed sibling estrangement and how it hurts everyone around them, in my own family. I've also noticed (with friends and family who have experienced this), that its rarely just one toxic person at play. If you ask people with at least a little bit of emotional distance from the situation, they see things a bit differently.

I have a toxic person in my life, and FWIW, I just minimize contact and do not make grand gestures. I stay cordial. This has allowed relationships besides mine to flourish. [/quote]

I have a toxic parent and I minimize contact rather than resort to estrangement, and it works fine for me.

But if I get to the point where estrangement is necessary, I will not hesitate to do so.  If I make that choice, it does not mean that I am also toxic; it means that I am doing the healthiest thing for myself and my family.

It is really pretty bold to suggest how abuse victims deal with their abusers is wrong.  That's victim blaming, pure and simple.[/quote]

I am the second PP you have quoted above. All I meant is that I dont go out of my way to avoid them. I.e.,if I know there is a family party, and they are there, I dont avoid the party. I say hello, how are you, that is it. I allow my kids to (briefly) talk to them. I dont talk with my kids about this person (unless they ask) because that would give this person too much importance. My kids are very indifferent to this person because I act indifferent. At this point, its been so long, that I actually truly FEEL indifferent.

I dont presume to know what works in other situations or for other families, just that this is fine for mine. [b]

I dont blame the abused, as I was one, but I have done enough therapy - years - to know that I could exist in the same community as this person without getting sucked in. [/quote][/b]. +1 now that is maturity.[/quote]

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