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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^^^wrong on all accounts. I have lived through and witnessed entire families destroyed because someone (my sibling) decided to cut of family members. It us possible to protect yourself without dragging everyone else into your drama and dysfunctional relationships--and this grand declarations do just that.[/quote]

+1 NP and another person who has witnessed sibling estrangement and how it hurts everyone around them, in my own family. I've also noticed (with friends and family who have experienced this), that its rarely just one toxic person at play. If you ask people with at least a little bit of emotional distance from the situation, they see things a bit differently.

I have a toxic person in my life, and FWIW, I just minimize contact and do not make grand gestures. I stay cordial. This has allowed relationships besides mine to flourish. [/quote]

I have a toxic parent and I minimize contact rather than resort to estrangement, and it works fine for me.

But if I get to the point where estrangement is necessary, I will not hesitate to do so.  If I make that choice, it does not mean that I am also toxic; it means that I am doing the healthiest thing for myself and my family.

It is really pretty bold to suggest how abuse victims deal with their abusers is wrong.  That's victim blaming, pure and simple.[/quote]

And victim blaming and gaslighting are exactly what abusers do.

In my case, all of my first cousins, along with my dad's brother and sister-in-law, supported me in making this break. When they learned how bad things have gotten they opened their hearts and homes to me and said that while estrangement was unimaginable to them, they understood I had no choice that would preserve my own health. Thank god I have people like them in my life, rather than the PPs who are so sure it's never the abuser's fault. [/quote]

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