Reply to Found out that BIL was badly abused as a child and I don't think that my sister knows it

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Reply to "Found out that BIL was badly abused as a child and I don't think that my sister knows it"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think OP should tell sister. I know someone close to me whose spouse only revealed childhood abuse/trauma after essentially conducting separate/compartmentalized life (details of which don't matter but involved lying) which really hurt their marriage. In counseling the therapist noted that this is common for survivors of abuse *especially if they never face the trauma* which, if this guy is saying he had a great family, I suspect he has not. Anyways, I would tell my sister, not to be a busybody but to fill out her picture of the person she's married to and to protect her.[/quote]. Abuse survivor here. You cannot extrapolate one individual's experience to someone else's life. Some of us actually spend years in therapy to deal with past trauma and do not carry our childhoods--for which we carry no responsibility--into destructive patterns in our adult life. Everyone is entitled to their privacy and no one had the right to decide what someone else has to reveal or share. Btw--suffering abuse in one area of your life does not mean that another part of your life want great. That alone die my mean the bil has not dealt with what may or may not be true about his childhood. [/quote]

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