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[quote=Anonymous]Gifts should always be graciously received.  You don't have to use them, but be gracious and grateful for them.  If you are asked and you give an opinion on a gift, and the giver still does what they originally wanted, you act grateful and you accept it and then find an alternate use for it, whether gifting to someone else or just ignoring it.  You don't get to ask for another gift and you don't act ungrateful to the giver, especially when it is family.  That kind of attitude will burn you in the long run.  If someone later asks why you aren't using their gift you can reiterate that you made a different choice as you mentioned when they first asked, but that you appreciate the thought that came with the gift.  But you leave it at that.  You aren't entitled to a gift (even from an in-law), so you just accept in the manner it was given.

Family visits are a different situation though.  I agree you have to set your boundaries early and ensure that you don't let someone else walk over your boundaries.  If they try to push to come and visit and stay with you, possibly even making travel arrangements first, then you make arrangements/a reservation for a hotel as close as possible and let them know that you have made those arrangements for their stay.   You can let them know when visits to the house will be appropriate.  But don't let them stay more than you can tolerate because once you start, it sets a precedence that can often be hard to change.  Even if you do change the precedence, it can often cause lasting ill will.  Just nip it in the bud and set your limits early.  [/quote]

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