Reply to Husband cheated a few years ago - I think it's happening again.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I need to hear it from somewhere else - other than my inner voice.

Married seventeen years.  Husband cheated - an affair that lasted 1-3 years - [b]I still can't get clear answers about it.[/b] This was four years ago.  I think he's lying again.  I saw a woman's email "------designerdoll@------.com" come up in his contacts for the last year.  He says this is a guy who is trying to be discrete about business transactions by using the name of someone else, a woman.

I'm not buying it.  I saw bits of a few texts and emails.  The emails are about business.  However, there are sign offs like "love ya!" "Drive safe!" "Be careful in this weather" and emails are signed with this woman's name at the end. These things sound feminine to me.

He was out until 11 PM last night at a dinner meeting ..... With this guy.  The thing is, the guy exists and really is a business associate.

[b]I told him that I don't believe him, and he screamed at me and is now giving me the silent treatment.[/b]

Does any of this sound remotely plausible to anyone here?

For heaven's sake, once he cheated he ok'd you to check up on him and be accountable. You should have been spot checking him monthly since the cheating. It sickens me that anyone would throw 17 years away for a hole in a mattress, and many with kids.

I would get to the bottom of it, not say a word then have TORTUOUS fun with the cheaters.  I posted this on the other forum about cheaters, so I will again. I would pretend to get hang up calls, and tell him how weird it is. (he will think SHE is doing it)  Wait a few weeks or month, and send yourself some sexy thongs in the mail..anonymous of course.  Ask your husband if he did that, he will freak really thinking the MISTRESS is messing with his life.

DON'T LET ON YOU KNOW HE IS CHEATING.  Many are stupid and do this, act SUPER nice during this period.

Please let us know what you find out, don't wait follow him...get a gps for his car etc.  Just get the info.

[/quote]

He is gaslighting you.

If you cannot get clear answers about what he did four years ago, then you cannot build/rebuild trust.  Rebuilding trust is on him, not you.

I'm sorry, OP.  That sucks.  He sucks.[/quote][/quote]

Tortuous fun sounds perfect.[/quote]

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