Reply to What did your significant other plan for your 40th birthday?

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[quote=Anonymous]My DH honestly blew me away for my 40th. We had a 9 month old and he's very thoughtful but not much of a planner, but his family does big celebrations for milestone bdays so he got it all worked out. Long weekend - left dd with grandparents, flew he & I to Disney World (which I love and hadn't been since I was a kid) for a couple of days, and arranged a nice hotel. It was so much fun and totally something that was my taste rather than his (but he had fun too).

It was especially lovely because it had been a hard year leading up to the pregnancy - some failed IVFs and then my dad died a couple of days after my last (but successful) IVF and my mom was basically locked up in her own grief that year. A couple of goofy fun days with just us two was a shot in the arm for me.

But he hasn't always been such a great mind reader. When we were dating/first married I was sure to tell him what I wanted (e.g. cake and a small but thoughtful present or two - amazon wish list available if ideas were wanted - at home, vs him preferring a fancy dinner out and a night at a hotel but no present to celebrate his).

I had terrible communication about this stuff in my 1st marriage and it felt like constant inconsiderate behavior. When I was dating my now-DH, I made it clear that I wanted our day to day stuff to be important to each other and I'm grateful that he's always taken that sentiment to heart even if he doesn't guess correctly for whichever occasion.

OP, if your DH knows what you want and isn't going to help you make it happen, then it's disappointing but IMO not worth scrapping the whole idea of a celebration over it. Make plans for something that you know will be fun and special to you. And hopefully over time he can hear you better about what you need in order to feel cherished.[/quote]

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