Reply to Husband unemployed and not applying for jobs. How to manage my feelings?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I was there. My husband was laid off six weeks before I had our DS. It was during the bubble, and it was absolutely horrible. DH has never been good with job searching and interviewing, but he really ended up falling apart. It took almost a year before he found employment through an agency and another year before he landed a full time job. Even now his career has been impacted by this.

The two big issues are whether you can manage financially and your feelings about the situation. We could not manage and DH left me in a very bad situation. We have been married almost ten years and this has been the largest issue for us to get by. I would be lying if I said that I do not have lingering resentment that I struggle with. I honestly also do not know if I did the right thing staying.

The other issue is how you feel about DH and his larger contributions to the house. Mine did step up a bit with childcare, but I did not want him to be a SAHD and neither did he.

It is a fine line to walk between being encouraging and forcing DH to face facts. I do not have any great advice, except let DH know exactly where you are emotionally and financially. Also try to concentrate on yourself and build up your skills. Whatever ends up happening in your marriage you want to have as many career options as possible.

Good luck. I know with this area being so focused on success you would think there are not many families struggling with this, but believe me there are plenty of people dealing with unmotivated spouses.[/quote]

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