Reply to Ex-military at my agency calling every woman "Ma'am"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]First of all, I have no intention of "filing a complaint" or raising issues of hostile work environment.

I would like to let him know he's out of step.

When the head of the agency says things like "This is Larlo Larloson.  Don't ask him to stop calling you ma'am because I've tried three times and he won't" you have a career problem on your hands.  It doesn't matter that he was raised that way.   It doesn't matter that it's a gesture of respect.  What he's doing is not in step with our agency culture.  Get it?[/quote]

This is actually a thing that can hold veterans back when they transition to the civilian workforce.  It can distance them from their non-veteran co-workers and makes them seem like they aren't adjusting to civilian life.  I used to work in federal contracting and we, of course, had quite a few ex-military and this is something that got brought up a lot actually.  Yes, in some work environments, "ma'am" is a sign of respect and politeness but it doesn't sound like it works in your work culture so he isn't doing himself any favors using it.

OP, try mentioning it to him, one on one, that you've noticed he calls you ma'am but you would really prefer to be called by your name and ask that he use it.  If he still refuses then he's pretty rude.  Using a term of "respect" that makes the recipient feel uncomfortable isn't respectful at all.[/quote]

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