Reply to Husband takes his stress out on me during sex

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you are looking at this backwards. You say you don't wan to "ruin" things by telling him how you feel. He already ruined sex for you. He ruined things. HE did. Sex should feel really really good. If you dread it and it hurts and you feel like throwing up after, you are being abused. Simple. He can pretend he doesn't know what he's doing, but he does. Why should you fear upsetting him? You are upset and hurt and physically harmed by him. He needs to be upset about this. And if he blames you or continues to blow it off, if he doesn't stop this hurting you, you need to stop having sex and see a counselor. Value yourself. You deserve to enjoy sex. No one has a right to hurt you.

Does he watch a lot of porn? This can affect what men think is okay in sex. There's a lot of really rough porn that makes the women look like dolls that are flipped around and pounded at in ways that you know, as a woman, do NOT feel good. You are being objectified and used. And abused. If you can't talk to him on your own, see someone, a counselor, who can help you.

[b]A lot of us here are having a visceral reaction to your situation. We feel your hurt. It's not okay, what he's doing. There are more ways to abuse than just hitting someone[/b].[/quote]

This.  And if you value your ability to orgasm, heck- your ability to enjoy sex at all, maybe even your ability to have kids, you will take this seriously.

Sex should never hurt.  If it does, that's a message to you from your vagina saying "Something is wrong!"

Often that means more lube, or more foreplay.  In your case, it sounds like he is hurting you on purpose, maybe he gets off on your pain.  That, in itself, is sick beyond words and I would never, EVER, EVER want to have children with someone who has that tendency and joy in hurting others.

It sounds as if the very movements he's doing, slamming into you or whatever, are designed to be painful.  This is not sex- this is rape, sexual torture.

I hope you take some time off from sex, at the very, very least.  Really, i urge you to divorce this guy.  But if that seems to extreme right now, do not have sex anytime in the near future, unless you want to seriously fuck up yourself and your ability to engage in intimate relationships.

Good luck OP.  I'm so sorry that you are going through this.  [/quote]

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