Reply to Work travel with someone you hate

Forum Index » Jobs and Careers

Reply to "Work travel with someone you hate"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had a male boss like this, who constantly accused me of being "secretive" because I didn't want to share intimate details of my personal, family and dating life. At the time, I was single, childless and committed to staying that way. Now -- 20 years later -- I'm a married SAHM, but I totally get that a trip with your coworker is a trip to hell.

Stay strong and use the time before the trip as an opportunity to give yourself a little space. Remember, business trips are for building your business and your professional contacts. If you go with an itinerary full of lunch and dinner meetings on the corporate expensive account to promote your business, you can keep conversations strictly about the goals of your trip.

1. Don't share a room with her. For example, pay a premium out of pocket if necessary for a higher floor. It'll help you get a good night's sleep and give you a retreat to focus on yourself.
2. Don't share a plane seat. Book a seat towards the aisle or by the window so you can enjoy the flight. 
3. Take your iPad and get some work done. Tell her your prepping for the trip as a defense.
4. Book some lunch, break and dinner meetings to do business on the trip and make contacts, maximizing your effectiveness and giving you an easy out from her issues.

5. Change the subject whenever she brings up personal stuff. Turn the topic back to the trip and its agenda. If necessary, print out a schedule and keep it on hand just for such occasions to get her back on topic. The topic is the trip, not your private life.

6. If all else fails and she can't take a hint, tell her directly, "look, Ms. X, I'm single, childless, career oriented and planning to stay that way. I don't want to talk about my personal life. I want to focus on getting the job done. That means going to meetings and planning to get as much out of them as possible. This is our chance to shine. Let's get back to work."

None of this may work, but at least you will have tried.

Who knows? Maybe this woman is desperately unhappy and wants to deflect her negativity back to you. Maybe she wants you to ask her about her own (probably needlessly drama-filled) life. If so, don't be tempted to ask her a bunch of personal questions and get pulled down into the emotional mire of her midlife crisis. Back off and focus on work.

Sounds like a long, arduous journey. Good luck!

[/quote]

OP here - it's not a business development or marketing  type of trip where you are making contacts and extending your network. We're lawyers - prepping for a case in Kansas; no ties to Kansas whatsoever and there is no one for me to meet with or network with aside from the law firm we'll be with. I do intend to keep answers short and about work - which she hates. She is desparetely unhappy and very comparative (mostly about money about also about relationships, weight etc.). I have never gone down that quagmire like my colleauges have with her and I don't want to start now bc once she thinks she can get answers from you on this stuff, there is no stopping it. She has told people in the office that she thinks her husband isn't the one; she stressed about paying for private school for 2 kids etc.; so I think she makes herself feel better with "at least I have a DH and kids and can pay for private school, these poor young attys have 200k in student debt and still have to rent an apartment" (not true but it's how she acts). I mean that's nice -- we all have our problems -- but I simply DO NOT CARE.

Other thing is she talks so DAMN MUCH. I'm a fairly quiet person -- I see nothing wrong with the sound of silence. She needs to continuously fill that silence which makes me want to scream.

I'm not flying out with her -- she's miffed about that. And of course we're not sharing a room -- I didn't even realize there were employers that did that - ew. [/quote]

Headphones. Bring your ipod and headphones and tell her you need to catch up on some podcasts / listen to a deposition in case the nuance is different from reading the transcript / do an audio CLE / zone out.

And do not give her your personal info. Even if it means being rude. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics