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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm SAH by default because we moved right after DS (1yr) was born, and I haven't found a job.  We have a very low cost of living now, and few expenses. I also stockpiled a lot of cash before leavin my job, so we have decent savings for future expenses (bigger house etc) down the line when I start working again. So this isn't about money/financial pressure. DH has a stressful job, and a lot of responsibility gets piled onto him. But he's had this job for many years- it's not like he had to step up because he got married and had a baby. He would still have this job if he were single.  Anyway, he's starting to resent me-he makes offhand comments about how he hates going to work and he's jealous of me.  Lately, he's doing zero housework.  He doesn't even bus his own plate after dinner. If I don't pick it up, it will sit there for eternity. The one delineated chore he's supposed to do is trash, but he hasn't done it in weeks.  I don't want a fight, but this is becoming really irritating, and I feel like a chore mule.  I feel like because of his resentment, if I say something, he's going to be a jerk about it and we'll get in a fight. Any advice or btdt?[/quote]

Sounds like he is burned out.  It's hard for us to have another person's perspective.  He comes home from a stressful day and just wants to chill and not do any housework.  You have a stressful day doing housework and taking care of DS and don't want more things to do when he comes home and that should be your time off.

DH and I had this argument when I stayed at home because I was annoyed he would come home and want to relax a little when I wanted him to be immediately on duty and give me a break.  I said something along the lines of he gets to escape to work every day whereas I'm doing the same thing ALL day.  His response was to ask me if I thought going to work meant he got to relax all day.  And he was right.  We both were not seeing each other's perspectives.  So we worked out a system.  DH gets home and has 20 min in his office to decompress.  Then he comes downstairs, phone goes away,and he's engaged.  It has worked out really well.  DS is now 3 and I am working again, albeit the overnight shift.  We have developed a new system that works for us.  I don't think you necessarily have to fight over this.  I do think you need to sit down with him in talk.  YOu need to really listen to him without getting mad, and he needs to listen to you. [/quote]

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