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[quote=Anonymous]I spent many years down that dark, dark depression hole.  I didn't want to die, but I wanted the pain to end. And death seemed like the only way to end the pain. I spent many years hoping to find the courage to finally take my own life and end the pain.

I also tried many meds that didn;t work. It felt like a random, 'try this, it might work' and when it didn't, 'okay try this other random drug'. I luckily found the Amen Clinic (many locations around the country, but I went to the one in Reston VA) and did a brain scan. They discovered the type of depression I had and prescribed the right medicines (and supplements) --finally! One of the meds had bad side effects, but at least it took the pain away (so I put up with the side effects for a little while).

Then over time, my brain healed. I was able to get off the one med with bad side effects and stayed on the other 2 for a few more years. Then, I stopped taking those too. I've been med free and depression free for 5 years. I think the right combination of drugs helped repair my brain.

Please keep trying to find a way to heal your brain. (Talk with your therapist about ECT.) I know it's hard to see it right now, but there is still hope...
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