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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I lost my mother to suicide, and a friend killed herself shortly after having her second child.
[b]
You say you love your children, but believe me, if you decide to kill yourself, you might as well take out a very sharp kitchen knife and stab them in a million places, don't let them die, just keep doing it year in, year out, for the rest of their lives.[/b]

I'm sure my mom thought my sisters and I would be better off without her, but she could not have been more wrong. As an adult, I've often thought that my mother ought to have left, moved to an island in Maine, pulled herself together and just stayed alive so she could see us again, meet her grandchildren, be there when we needed her. My mother did not make that choice, but you can, OP.

Plus, I don't know what you've been taking for depression, but [b]there are a lot of [u]physical[/u] conditions that can make you depressed[/b]: hormones, thyroid, adrenals, certain diseases like lupus. If you are done with medications, what about natural remedies, things like b vitamins, 5-htp, st  john's wort, fish oil and exercise, exercise, exercise!!

Go see an [b]integrative medicine doctor[/b] or a holistic practitioner, get a [b]complete physical workup[/b], and see if they find a[b] physical root of your depression[/b].

[b]BTW, antidepressants really don't work, not in the long run, because they do not address the physical issues that underlie depression. They simply mask it, which is why they might work at first, and then their effectiveness wanes.

Therapy does not deal with underlying physical issues either, so it's not going to make any difference either, but it can help you cope a bit. [/b]

If you love your children, do not kill yourself, OP. You will hurt them more than you can possibly imagine, [b]wounding them permanently[/b].[b] If you need to take a break to save yourself, then do it. Get away, get help, just stay alive until you can find the way to deal with the underlying causes of your depression, which are obviously physical.[/b]

Hugs to you, OP. [b]You will get better, you must believe it.[/b] [/quote]

x 100 to all of this.

OP - I respect your transparency and honesty in such a difficult situation. It takes balls to be so vulnerable. 
Please don't ever kill yourself. Please. Don't ever kills yourself. 
You matter. To your children - to me - and to so many others who are reading and agree, but will never, ever post.[/quote]

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